Sandra Bowden 15/08/2017

Prince Harry said this to royal correspondent, Hannah Furness, during a recent interview about the death of his mother:

“I have probably been very close to a complete breakdown on numerous occasions when all sorts of grief and sort of lies and misconceptions and everything are coming to you from every angle.”

These are words not dissimilar to what is expressed in the counselling room. The experience Prince Harry described here is what happens when we shut our emotions down. Suppressing uncomfortable emotions, such as sadness, anger, fear, guilt and shame, is our body’s way of protecting us during a trauma/grief, and emotional release, in a safe environment, is our body’s way of protecting itself from further damage.

We have to work hard at shutting our emotions down, and it takes an enormous amount of emotional and physical energy to do this. As a result, we can become agitated, tense, loose motivation, and lowers our immunity. It can be difficult for those we are in relationship with, to communicate with us. This shutting down, over a long period of time, could further lead to symptoms of anxiety and depression.

When we shut down emotionally, this is what our partner experiences in relationship with us:

We are not participating in self-reflection

We are not contributing to the well-being of our relationship

We refuse to discuss certain topics

We find it difficult to calm ourselves

We avoid conflict by leaving, and return making as if nothing is wrong, and our partner feels misunderstood, dismissed and invalidated

When we continue to shut down our emotional world, and say we are fine, when we are not, our world becomes chaotic, untrustworthy and plagued by misconceptions. Emotion Focused Therapy is insight orientated, and could assist in working through emotional experiences. We don’t have to wait until we are faced with our mental health being compromised, or our relationship disintegrating.

How you could benefit from my counselling…

In my experience as a relationship counsellor, I’ve found some keys methods that produce effective, gratifying and long term results. When these methods are applied properly, the relationship naturally transforms into one of more respect, connection and mutual understanding.

The sessions I provide are interactive, not passive, meaning each session is structured to help you progress forward by adding to the building block established in the prior session. To find out more, simply call 1300 001 220 today! 30-minute free telephone consultation!

Ever wondered what the status is of your relationship? Take our Relationship Quiz here

If you wish to take me up on my offer of a 30 minute free telephone consultation click here

Subscribe to our newsletter

We can help!
To find out more about our service please call Newlands Counselling on ☏ 1300 001 220
Copyright © Sandra Bowden